Starting From Scratch!

     This is my new lot in life:  To start from scratch, and start a new!

     Sometimes I think I need professional help, but the the truth of the matter is I believe we all need "Help". I have just decided that cutting ties from previous ideas, and ways of living is going to be the best thing for me!

    Let me start at the beginning of my new found knowledge. This summer has been hot, just like every summer in Memphis as far back as I can remember. My best friend headed to a missions trip, I miss her dearly. My status at my new church girl has gone from "new girl" to "just another girl". I am still at the same job I have been at for almost 3 years now.

     I am tired! It's not like a couple hard months ago when I was ready to pack up my life as a christian, and head down the highway to hell! No not that at all! I have just hit my next snag on the yellow brick road. I have   already came to the conclusion many months ago that I needed a change (Hence my "Highway to Hell" reference), and here I am now no closer to change then I had been back then. So I want to start over, but it hits me again! I don't know how to start from scratch?

    Not only am I tired, but I am also bored! Like I said: still in Memphis, just another girl, same job 3 years! The life of a christian is supposedly exciting, and some what dangerous! And don't hate on me, because I know that on the other side of the world people do have to live dangerously as christians. But that is not what I am talking about. I am thinking about the Lord moving you in a direction, and you packing up like Abraham saying "Send me I will go, even if I don't know where". But my hand of cards tells me that life here is still the only option (it's the cards I have been dealt).  Sometimes I think that if I did not want to leave I could get out, but since I want to leave I have to stay put. I have got to stop thinking of God as someone who always gives us what we don't want to test us!

     I not even really asking to go somewhere else, but sometimes its just "let something happen already!" I have been in this stand still long enough. Once again the heat comes in, I am telling you it's hot here! Getting hotter by the moment.

     So starting over! Forgetting what I have learned, and making my own decisions on things. What do I believe from what I know from the Bible and God's character? What are the things I take from being taught, and what do I believe for myself! I am starting from scratch! And I am praying that God will direct me! Even if once again it is His will that I stay in my same old pattern.

I guess I just have to pray through this season of waiting, and press on for the new season! Please Lord just don't let in be long!